The Santa Card

There's been lots of talk over the years about people using the "race card" , and now I'd like to add the "Santa Card" to the mix.
You see, the Santa Card is powerful. And if you use it wisely you will reap many rewards. Don't know how to use the Santa Card? Well, follow these simple steps and you, too, will be on your way to fame and fortune ( well, probably not. But you just might win a fight with a 3 year old).

Situation #1:
Your child finds that bedtime is a nuisance. You see bedtime as your escape from the looney bin that has become your life. How do you play the Santa Card at bedtime?
" Faith, lay down right now or Santa will NOT be bringing you any presents this year!"
and magically the child will lay down, close their eyes and with an angelic look to their face say, " yes, Mother, I will gladly go to sleep." ( just kidding, in reality the child screams, "But I NEEEEEED presents!"

Situation #2:
Your child decided that yogurt tastes much better if it is licked off the floor rather than spooning it out of a bowl. How do you play the Santa Card at meals?
"Faith, if you don't stop making such a big mess with your yogurt I'm calling Santa Claus and telling him you're being a naughty girl!", and magically the child will get a wet cloth and lovingly wipe the yogurt up off the floor ( just kidding, in reality the child will announce that she's not hungry anymore, then get up and walk through the yogurt and leave yogurt footprints in your kitchen)

Situation #3
Your child has figured out that back-talking her mommy makes mommy breathe really loudly and count from 10 backwards. How to use the Santa Card when your child gets sassy? " Faith, if you backtalk me one more time I'm going to write Santa a letter and tell him to put you on the naughty list", ( again, kidding, because in real life when you point out that your child is being sassy, their comeback will be an eye-roll and a "whatever" and then they'll run really fast down the hall because they know you're right behind trying to swat their butt)


So yeah, I have been pulling the Santa Card lately. Faith has figured out that Santa is the guy that stuffs presents under the tree. I figure that if I can get her just scared enough of the possibility that Santa will drive right past our house then maybe she'll turn her naughty girl attitude into a sweet angelic angel. So far it's working 50% of the time, other times she will just tell me not to call Santa. I'm not sure if putting a big fat guy I've never met in charge of disciplining my daughter is a good idea or not, but if it works than I'm all for it.

Do you think one day she'll kill me for making her wear this?

I can't help myself, I love doing craft projects with the kids. Most of the time they're pretty fun, but I think I may have gone too far with this one. Making a hat from a paper bowl sounded good at the time, but now I'm pretty sure that it wasn't. I thought 3 year old kids weren't old enough to feel shame or embarassment, but now I'm not so sure. Faith looks like she wants to escape, and fast. She has that "I'm only wearing this to make my nutjob of a mother happy" look to her face. Truth be told, she never wore it again after that. Later on she used to it smack the cat. I'm pretty sure even the cat thought it was ugly.

Yep, that's my girl

Walking around with bed-head hair, with her shirt on backwards, and chillin' in her momma's heals . There's no better way to describe my Faith, she's definitely one of a kind.

Ok, seriously...

Why are the stores filled with Xmas decorations already? It's not even halloween yet! Geesh!! Maybe Travis should just fill my xmas stocking with Valentine's Candy and kill two birds with one stone.

Grandma's birthday party

My mom turned 21 again ( or as she put it, " I'm 21 almost 3 times over!), actually she's 50-something. We went to her house for cake and a BBQ, and later took the kids to the park to play. It was a fun day. I really enjoy getting all the cousins together in one spot, they play so well together. Happy Birthday, Momma!

My arch enemy

This nasty creature is the caterpillar that seeks to destroy my tomato plant. I have to go out there every few days to look over all 7 plants to either pick off the bugs or pick off the eggs. They are NASTY, and that little stinger on it's butt will stick you if you get too close. It's not a nice bug, oh no, it's a mean ol' bug. And if you bother it enough it will leak this nasty flourescent green goo from it's head and it's butt. Talk about gross!!! And the fact that it looks like it has eyeballs all over it's body makes it even grosser ( is grosser a word?). But of course on the day I found this big, juicy guy Faith saw it and said, "oh hi Mr. Caterpillar, let me pet you." And so I realized that I couldn't throw someone names Mr. Caterpillar in the garbage. He now rests nicely in his pickle jar condo, and if we have any luck he will build himself a cocoon and turn into the nasty brown moth that he's destined to be. You know that book, THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR? Well, this guy isn't the cute, rainbow colored bug like in that book, this is more like the VERY HUNGRY AND UGLY CATERPILLAR THAT LEAKS GREEN GOO. Now maybe I should write a book about that! Blech!

She's seriously the cutest fairy ever

I don't think there has ever been a more beautiful fairy than my Faith. I admit, I am a bit biased since she's my daughter, but there's no denying that this little girl has got the looks of an angel.

I curled her hair and put some of my makeup on her ( don't even ask me why I have blue eyeshadow in my makeup drawer!) and she just turned into the most beautiful little fairy. I couldn't help but take a gazillion pictures of her, but as to not bore you I am only posting a few.

Costume Party at the park

Every year our city puts on a really cool Halloween party for the kids. There's dozens of booths with cool kid-friendly games, the kids get prizes even if they don't win the games, so it's very fun for the kids. Ethan and Faith were super excited to put their costumes on and go to the party. We've been going there for several years now so it's become a tradition. I think their favorite part was the candy, of course.

Pickin' a pumpkin

We went up to the Temecula Wine Country to visit a new pumpkin patch. We usually drive to Escondido to Bates Nut Farm, but with gas prices as high as they are we really didn't see it necessary to drive for an hour just to get a pumpkin when there are perfectly good pumpkins growing alongside the grapevines up in Wine Country. It was soooooo hot that day! I am sure my friends and family that don't live in Southern California are experiencing a real Autumn, but we are still in Summer mode out here.

The pumpkin patch had a really cool corn maze. None of us had ever been in one before. We started walking in it and got lost pretty much right away. I kept having this fear that Faith would say, "I gotta go peeee!" , and then we'd really be up the creek without a paddle. We were lost, and I'm going to blame it on Ethan because he volunteered himself to be our guide. Eventually we made it out of the maze, and Ethan was gracious enough to return back to the maze because, as he says, he "needs to help the civilians get out of the maze." So he went back into the maze to help out the folks who got lost, and Travis and I took Faith to ride the pony. Eventually we got around to picking out our pumpkins, a pair of seriously overpriced ones, and then headed home. The whole time we were there the 2 wineries across the street were mocking me, calling to me, " Shawna, we know you are hot and parched, come over to the dark side and sip a cold Merlot or a sweet dessert wine.".

The dishwasher from hell

Our old dishwasher died and we got our new one on Oct. 13 and I was soooo excited to use it. It's one of those dishwashers that are so quiet you can hardly hear it working. I actually ran the darn thing with only a couple of dirty dishes inside because I couldn't wait to dirty a full load of dishes, so I ran it almost empty ( not very water-conscious, I know). It was so quiet, we almost couldn't believe it was actually running, but it was. It's amazingly quiet. But something strange happened, something I wouldn't expect from a new dishwasher: IT LEAKED. Yes, 2 puddles on each side of the dishwasher. NO! IT CAN'T BE! So I ran it again, and it leaked again. This wasn't good. It made me dizzy thinking that I'd have to go back to *gasp* handwashing again.
So I called Best Buy and told them what was going on and they say, "Sure, we'll get you a new one in 5 days" Great! A new one, surely this new one would be perfect.
Um, no.
I got the new one yesterday, I ran it on the rinse cycle only while the installer guy was still here to make sure it didn't leak. It didn't leak!
But ( and there is always a 'but').....it was loud.VERY LOUD. This morning when I ran the dishwasher for a full cycle for the first time I heard how loud it was . It's not supposed to be loud. But it is, I can hear it from upstairs. Oh no, this can't be happening to me. So I decided to forget calling Best Buy, I called the manufacturer directly. They were nice enough to set me up with a repair company to come out and look at it ( We weren't too happy about someone working on a 1-day old dishwasher, but we digress, there's not much else we can do). So the minute i get off the phone making an appointment with the repair guy I decided to run the dishwasher again just to confirm that indeed it was running loud and not my imagination. But then out of the corner of my eye I see something shiny underneath the dishwasher. What was it? WATER! Yep, this "new" one is leaking, too. We tried to call the manufacturer back but they're on East Coast time so they're closed.
Seriously, this is the dishwasher from hell.

Note of caution: do not buy a Frigidaire Dishwasher in the Gallery Series, THEY SUCK! and leak.

Visits from family are always welcomed

We got a rare chance to visit with the Parsons family. We haven't seen them since May of 2006 when we all went to DisneyWorld. Ethan and Faith loved having their cousins around, and Faith was getting spoiled by Aunt Kel. After they left our house Faith kept asking, "Where's my Kel?"

Our little punk rock girl

Faith was more than happy to let me spray paint her hair with colorful hairspray. We think she looks like a punk rocker.

How supporters of Prop. 8 are using lies

"Churches won't get tax cuts anymore if prop 8 doesn't pass."FALSE: Churches will not suffer any financial burdens if prop 8 does or doesn't pass-- the proposition doesn't affect it. Don't worrryyy lol you still get your money ;)

"“Public Schools will teach that homosexuality and same-sex marriage are normal and acceptable-and if you disagree, you are a bigot.”FALSE. Proposition 8 says nothing about public schools. Local curricula are set by local school boards in California. If a parent objects to what’s being taught in the classroom on religious or moral grounds, they cal always opt their children out.

“Churches will be required to perform homosexual marriage ceremonies or face prosecution under anti-discrimination laws.”FALSE. Churches were performing same-sex weddings for decades regardless of whether they were recognized by law. Similarly, the Catholic Church is not required to recognize civil divorces, nor will it ever be.

“Businesses will be prosecuted for not participating in homosexual ceremonies.”FALSE. Proposition 8 says nothing about what businesses may or may not do. Non-discrimination laws already on the books require that any service offered to the public by a business must be offered to everyone. Are the proponents of Proposition 8 asking that we repeal our non-discrimination laws?

“Married couples will no longer be considered “bride and groom,” but “Party A and Party B.”FALSE. Whereas marriage licenses in California are no longer gender-specific, married couples may call themselves whatever they want. That’s a constitutional right–something proponents of Prop 8 don’t seem to have much respect for.

“The role of parents will be diminished.”FALSE. Already, 71% of children growing up in California live in non-traditional families. Why deny the children of gay and lesbian couples the joy of having their parents’ love recognized by the State?

**information provided by Vote no on Prop. 8 @ San Francisco State University

Stop the Hate

I had all intentions of keeping my blog lighthearted, but I really can't NOT talk about my strong feelings for Prop. 8 on the ballot here in California. Some of you that don't live in California ( and for those of you that do live out here but live under a rock) may not know about Prop.8, so let me school you on it.
It's really simple, and can be described in very few words : IF PROP. 8 PASSES, THEN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA WILL NOT RECOGNIZE A MARRIAGE * or even allow marriage* BETWEEN TWO CONSENTING GAY ADULTS. Period.
Why the gov't needs to be involved in marriage is a mystery to me. Why two people that love each other can't get married is a mystery to me. Don't people realize that just because a gay person can't legally get married doesn't mean they won't be gay any more. Stopping gay marriage isn't going to halt the existence of gay people. Gay couples will continue to live together, to have children together, they will continue to pay taxes, be law-abiding citizens, they will vote and run for elected offices. Gay people are our neighbors, our family members, our church elders, our doctors and nurses. Eliminating their right to marry in theory changes very little in the gay community, with the exception of one VERY LARGE AND IMPORTANT FACT: they are being denied rights, and in 2008 how on Earth can we STILL be denying rights to our citizens? And let's just say for the sake of argument that *you* don't like the thought of gay people getting married, can you honestly say that you are comfortable with denying Constitutional Rights to your fellow Americans? Are you OK with saying that person A is allowed their Constitutional Rights but person B isn't? Are you certain that in the future that YOUR Constitutional Rights won't be taken away from you? If one day it became illegal for you to discipline your own children? If one day only rich people could drive gas-guzzling SUV's but people in lower-income brackets weren't deemed worthy enough to clog the skies with soot? Think about it for a minute. If you're against gays getting married, at least ask yourself if you're willing to let that type of hate interfere with your love of our Constitutional Rights. If you are happily married, why would you want to deny that same happiness to other people?

And let's get real, heterosexuals have done enough damage to marriage as a whole. Let gay people take over for awhile, okay?

STOP THE HATE, VOTE NO ON 8.
**I'm stepping off my soapbox now**

WTH?

Here's a conversation I had the other day with the kids, they were eating breakfast and Faith found a hair stuck to her pancake:

Faith *trying to get the hair out of her syrup* " WHAT THE HECK?!?!"
Me: Did she just say 'what the heck?"
Ethan: At least she didn't say, "WHAT THE HELL."

I guess he has a point.

Way to go, Ethan!

Ethan entered the REFLECTIONS contest at his school. It's an art contest for kids of all ages. The theme this year was "WOW", the kids had to interpret what "WOW" means to them in the form of written words, dance choreography, photography, or a drawing/painting. Ethan chose to paint a picture of the Empire State Building because he said the amount of work that went into building it and the overall size of the building makes him think "WOW". Here's a pic of him and his Empire State Building. He got a certificate of participation and a ribbon. His painting didn't get chosen to go on to the state competition, but we're still very proud of him.

ROOOOOXANNE.....

Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight
Those days are over, you don't have to sell your body to the night


Great words from a great song, yet, somehow the words get distorted when sung by a 10 year old little boy.

Last night we were playing ROCK BAND. Ethan took his turn at being the lead singer, and once he started singing it I knew I was possibly setting myself up for a loaded question, " Mom, why would someone sell their body to the night?" But thankfully Ethan sings songs like most of us do, we sing the words without really paying attention to what they mean. Seriously, when I was a little girl I used to love singing AFTERNOON DELIGHT, I think I was in my early 30's before I realized what 'afternoon delight' meant. I can only imagine the look on my mother's face while listening to her young daughter talking about SKYROCKETS IN FLIGHT..AFTERNOON DELIGHT.!!

And making the evening even more funny was listening to Faith's constant request to sing "SHOUT AT THE DEVIL". Or as she likes to call it, " SHOUT AT THE DEBIL"

Southern California Fair

We took the kids to the Southern California Fair at Lake Perris this weekend. My main reason for taking them was to see the Demolition Derby. I just loved watching those growing up. I think they're so much fun! I think the only non-fun part of the day was the insane price of everything. We spent $30 just to feed 3 of us lunch. That's insane!

Faith was in a tricyle race, she came in second place! ( there were only 2 kids racing, so I guess technically she was the big loser) but we're still proud of her. She volunteered to be a monkey in a circus but she chickened out due to a big case of stage fright. Ethan had a lot of fun racing remote control cars with Travis. There was a neat Kids Zone there for the kids to play in, they had huge bubble bowls that made the biggest bubbles! Overall it was a fun day and I just wanted to share some pictures.

Pros and cons of a new dishwasher

It was bound to happen. Our dishwasher broke. It was 12 and a half years old, and more than likely it was the cheapest dishwasher ever made at the time. We were lucky it lasted that long. When it broke I was lucky enough that Travis was able to get a new one shortly afterwards, but it was about 5 days until the people at Best Buy could install it. So I had to hand wash. You may ask me, " What is this thing called handwashing, Shawna?". Well, it's this painfully old concept that gets your dishes clean, but it requires you to lay all your dishes on the countertop, taking up all your counter space. And then after they dry you have to shine the dishes because air-drying *another novel and old concept not seen since I carried a Holly Hobby lunch pail* leaves horrid water marks on dishes. Oh, and I forgot the best part: dish-pan hands.

I finally got my new dishwasher today. I might as well been given a new kidney because I am a very happy housewife. And it's digital! Whoa, a digital dishwasher? It counts down the minutes of the wash cycle. What will they think of next, portable phones?!? Oh, and it even came with a big bottle of Jet Dry. Any of you who have ever bought Jet Dry know how expensive that stuff is, so that was a huge bonus!

So now my dilema is this: For years now I have always told ( read: taught) Travis that one does not gift an appliance to a woman for any reason because we are NOT turned on by toasters, vacuums or skillets. We require perfume, jewelry and trips to the day spa. He knows that if I ever open a present and inside is something that has to be used for a chore that I will not be happy. "Here honey, here's a new electric skillet for you to use to cook us all a nice dinner! Enjoy! and after you're done cooking go handwash all those dishes"...nope, no thanks.

But I'm having a problem here, because although this new dishwasher isn't necessarily a gift, I am quite excited about it, and it goes against everything I ever believed in. If I even give the slightest hint that I love my new dishwasher will I soon find myself the benefactor of a new toaster for Xmas, a new stove for Mother's Day? Will my Christmas stocking no longer be filled with earings, lotions and beef jerkey, but will be replaced with bottles of Jet Dry and Palmolive? I don't know how to deal with this situation. Travis knows how grateful I am, but I think I should downplay it for awhile, don't you?

The selective memory of Faith

We had a new baby at the house on Sunday. Alicia is 2 weeks old and is breastfed by her mommy Deanna. Once Alicia's lunchtime came around the breast came out. Faith was very intrigued and probably oogled & googled poor Deanna's chest a little longer than she should have. Later on after Deanna took the baby home Faith started up this conversation with me:

Faith: Mommy, did you see Deanna's boobies?
Me: yes, she was feeding Alicia
Faith: baby eats boobies?
Me: well, she drinks the milk in the boobies
Faith: Well that's silly * giggle giggle*
Me: Lots of babies drink milk from their momma's boobies
Faith: NO WAY! That's funny, Mommy. You're so silly

** So it's apparent that Faith forgot she was breastfed for a year. I think if I told her that she wouldn't believe me. Anything that doesn't come from a sippy cup or a small cardboard box with a straw isn't a feasable way to quench thirst.

Date night for preschoolers

Little did I know that a 4 year old little boy named JW would already be putting the 'moves' on my 3 year old daughter. But look at these pictures and tell me that his arm around my Faith while they sat on the couch watching TV isn't one of the cutest things you've seen in a long time. I think what's even more cute is that about 30 seconds later he pulled her in closer to him just like a typical ladies man. He sure knows how to treat a lady at such a young age!

Ah, sweet victory

A note to our dear friends that support the San Diego Chargers:

Please accept our apologies for kicking your blue & yellow butts AGAIN for the 7th time in a row. You may say that you bleed blue & yellow, but as of yesterday you bleed nothing but the color of defeat. You might say that the Dolphins drowned you, or that they used their superior brains to overcome your offensive and defensive plays. But either way, we showed yet again that the Miami Dolphins will not allow a loss to you. We shall spend another 2 years bragging about it, we won't let you forget about it, and as often as we can we'll bring it up in conversation:

Charger Fan: Did you see that new Chuck Norris Movie?
Dolphin Fan: No, but we saw the Dolphins kick your ass

Charger Fan: Do you like SKORE candybars?

Dolphin Fan: No, but I liked the score of the football game when we kicked your ass

Charger Fan: How long does it take for you to run a mile?

Dolphine Fan: oh, about the same time it takes for us to kick your ass

You get the point.

It's a glove, it's a shoe, it's a hat, it's....

Toilet paper.

Only a 3 year old sees toilet paper as a dress-up accessory.

Thanks, Travis. I luff you, too.

Recently sent to me via email from my hubby

Oceanside and the sandy butt

After my trip with the kids to the beach in Oceanside I have 2 words that describe our day: Sandy Butt.

We usually go to the bay at the Yacht Club in San Diego, it's technically the 'beach', but there isn't much sand and hardly any waves. But Oceanside is a different story. It's a typical sandy beach, there's huge waves, bronzed surfers, seagulls, and a pier ( and your token homeless person..this is southern California after all). Faith hasn't been to a beach like this since she was a baby, and even then she still had sand all over her. I am very anti-sand. If there was a club/cult I could join that spent it's energy on ridding the world of beach sand I would join it, possibly become the president even. I hate that it sticks to me no matter what I do, I hate how it gets into every crevice of a body. I hate that when I'm at the beach and I drop food in the sand I can't enforce the 5-second rule because sand will be all over that food and totally inedible. Yep, I hate sand.

So there we were heading to the beach, the whole drive there Faith is thinking we're going to the bay. So when we get to Oceanside and she steps onto the beach, her shoes fill up with sand immediately. This is NOT O.K. with her. The whining starts, the "pick me up, mommy" is repeated several times. *sigh*

Once we set up our blanket and chairs Faith jumps right onto the blanket, " I don't want sand!". And then proceeds to cover our once clean blanket with sand. Oh well, it's a mute point to even attempt to keep us sand-free at the beach, so I tell her ( and myself) to suck it up and to have fun.

And we had fun, yep, we sure did. Even if we ended up with sand in our butts, we still had fun.

The little one's

Isn't it nice knowing that long after we're gone there will always be a little bit of us that lives on? Grandchildren are our link to the future that we will never see. We have a small lot of grandkids in our family, but they're a spectacular lot of kids. We have Marcus who is the oldest of the bunch and he's one of those kids that is good at every sport he plays. Then behind him by a few months is Ethan, who is a happy-go-lucky kid. A few years later came Cameron, he's quite the ladies man. Many years later Tyler came along, blessing my brother and his wife with their first child. He's the stubborn one of the bunch. Not much later came our sassy girl, Faith. And our pleasant surprise last year was Darius, giving my sister and her husband 3 big boys to love. It's so great that all of the grandkids live within 30 minutes of each other, and when they get together it's so fun. I hope that when they grow up they will appreciate the times that they get to spend together.

My other babies

Although I admit my thumb isn't exactly green, I do, however, have an interest in growing things ( all I can seem to grow is mold in the refrigerator). Faith is an avid eater of tomatoes, I give her at least one a day, so when I decided to try my hand at growing food in the backyard I decided tomatoes would be my guinea pig. Much to my surprise they actually grew! Out of 7 plants I only had one casualty ( it's on life support now, I give it a 50/50 chance of survival. I hope it's an organ donor). It took a few months to start seeing results, and for awhile there I really thought that my curse of a black thumb would doom these poor plants to death, but somehow I had 6 plants survive, and the result is a cornucopia of cherry, roma, beefsteak and early girl tomatoes. Faith and I couldn't be happier. Once the tomatoes reached their peak I would take Faith out every morning, she would say, " let's go pick my lunch tomato", and off we would go to go find the perfect tomato of the day. I am so proud of myself, I plan on growing more next season. I think I may even take a stab at growing a pumpkin or some cukes.

Opening Day

Since my first blog seems to be locking me out I was forced to create a new one. It's not such a big deal, I got the first one printed out so all my entries aren't lost into the blogging abyss. I hope everyone enjoys my little blog full of blurbs and stories about the family. It makes me happy to have an outlet to record the little and big things that happen. I officially have "mommy brain" so I can't count on myself to accurately recall events as I am too busy thinking about bathtime, homework, laundry and Little League. Feel free to leave comments whenever you like. I like knowing that someone besides myself reads this!