The Santa Card

There's been lots of talk over the years about people using the "race card" , and now I'd like to add the "Santa Card" to the mix.
You see, the Santa Card is powerful. And if you use it wisely you will reap many rewards. Don't know how to use the Santa Card? Well, follow these simple steps and you, too, will be on your way to fame and fortune ( well, probably not. But you just might win a fight with a 3 year old).

Situation #1:
Your child finds that bedtime is a nuisance. You see bedtime as your escape from the looney bin that has become your life. How do you play the Santa Card at bedtime?
" Faith, lay down right now or Santa will NOT be bringing you any presents this year!"
and magically the child will lay down, close their eyes and with an angelic look to their face say, " yes, Mother, I will gladly go to sleep." ( just kidding, in reality the child screams, "But I NEEEEEED presents!"

Situation #2:
Your child decided that yogurt tastes much better if it is licked off the floor rather than spooning it out of a bowl. How do you play the Santa Card at meals?
"Faith, if you don't stop making such a big mess with your yogurt I'm calling Santa Claus and telling him you're being a naughty girl!", and magically the child will get a wet cloth and lovingly wipe the yogurt up off the floor ( just kidding, in reality the child will announce that she's not hungry anymore, then get up and walk through the yogurt and leave yogurt footprints in your kitchen)

Situation #3
Your child has figured out that back-talking her mommy makes mommy breathe really loudly and count from 10 backwards. How to use the Santa Card when your child gets sassy? " Faith, if you backtalk me one more time I'm going to write Santa a letter and tell him to put you on the naughty list", ( again, kidding, because in real life when you point out that your child is being sassy, their comeback will be an eye-roll and a "whatever" and then they'll run really fast down the hall because they know you're right behind trying to swat their butt)


So yeah, I have been pulling the Santa Card lately. Faith has figured out that Santa is the guy that stuffs presents under the tree. I figure that if I can get her just scared enough of the possibility that Santa will drive right past our house then maybe she'll turn her naughty girl attitude into a sweet angelic angel. So far it's working 50% of the time, other times she will just tell me not to call Santa. I'm not sure if putting a big fat guy I've never met in charge of disciplining my daughter is a good idea or not, but if it works than I'm all for it.