My Christmas list

Dear Santa,

I have been a pretty good girl this year ( as long as you don't count the obscene amount of donuts I've eaten or the fact that I don't do the laundry as much as I should). But other than that I've been way better than any other girls I know.
Therefore, I figure that I should get pretty much everything on my xmas list.

** A wife. I hear they do EVERYTHING around the house. I have heard from a secret source that a wife will pretty much do anything you ask as long as you say, "thanks" and bring her flowers once in awhile. This is something I think I can handle

** A goat. I think this would eleviate the weeds in the yard. And although Travis is the one that does the yardwork I figure that if the goat can take care of the weeds I can have Travis in the house longer so he can load the dishwasher for me.

** A hot air balloon. I will fill this up with all the hot air dispensed in my house via the rearends of my lovely husband and kids. I only ask that if you can't supply me with the hot air balloon that you instead enroll me in the Glade Stick-Up of the Month Club

** A tattoo of my name across my husbands back. I only ask for this because I am hoping that one day he will actually do what he's been telling me he's going to do for years now. And we all know how important it is for a woman to mark her territory. Step off girls, he's mine!

** Menopause. Because that monthly visitor I've been having for 20+ years now has outstayed her welcome. Frankly, I wish she'd get hit by a bus.

Sincerely,
Shawna " ain't misbehavin' " Romine